Round at Blodwen's the other night, I was watching a bit of ITV (she has a satelite dish!) while sampling some of her excellent wine and TV snackettes and we happened upon a programme that purported to showcase "Britain's Talent". Neither Blodwyn nor I will pass up a chance to view some 'talent' so we decided to give it a gander.
It turned out to be one of those reality shows like "Pop Idol" where Simon Cowell and a couple of other minor celebrities watch and criticise so-called variety acts from the cream of Britain's performers in order to choose a selection to take part in the Royal Variety Performance in front of the Queen.
Well...we chatted our way through a series of dreadful 'acts' including a 76 year old tap dancer, a group of horendous Lena Zavaroni look-alikes and a 10 year old comedian. Think "Phoenix Nights".....NEXT!!
However, our attention was grabbed and we sat transfixed as a 'young man' in a sequined costume came onto the stage. The compere told us that his was a very sad story as his parents were completely unaware of his talent (apparently he was afraid to tell them and had to practice in secret). His aged grandmother helped him with his application for the show and he explained, through a torrent of tears, how he was so happy to get through to this round of the show and now his secret was out and his parents were in the audience and were about to find out what he did in his spare time.
I turned to Blodders and we wordlessly asked each other what on earth he was going to do?
The music started and he began..........to twirl his baton, throwing it up into the air with great aplomb and some skill. Pllleeeeeeeease!!
Oh - not another 'closet baton-twirler'! we thought and turned back to our smoked salmon.
He didn't get through but his parents said that they were very proud of him! and both he and his grandmother cried.